Ode to Halloween past

*Technical difficulties prevented me from posting this on the official day.

I lost my custom-made, prosthetic vampire fangs and my red contact lenses were discarded after eventually dissolving into a saline-based jelly. Nowadays I don't go crazy for All Hallows Eve like I used to, but I still love this holiday and it's fun to relive some memories.

Each year I ask myself, "Is Halloween" a time when some people put on disguises.. or take them off?

The last bachelor pad I resided in, often referred to as "The Powell House" was the ideal place for throwing great Halloween parties. With the tireless help of an enthusiastic best friend, my old roomies and I went to insane lengths to trick the place out for the occasion. The results were better each year. The house (which I learned was recently demolished to accommodate one of those grotesque, cookie-cutter apartment complexes) was perfect for Halloween; a large three story structure with a naturally creepy basement. Supposedly it had been built in the early 1900's so it already possessed part of that special "charm."

The decorative preparations included removing all of the window blinds/curtains and replacing them with tattered sheets and cheese-cloth. All natural lighting was outlawed. Colored bulbs were installed, so there was literally NO room in the house, including the bathroom with a normal, white light source. Barely functioning, *old* TV sets were located on all levels of the house, all showing the same "splatter montage" from a video tape that was painstakingly edited to depict scenes from classic/cult horror films and stuff that was just (as at least one person described) "simply sick and wrong." The television sets were all wired to one VCR via a network of coaxial cable and AV splitters.

The audio presentation was equally elaborate and schizo. My friend and I pre-recorded several hours of music that we felt best expressed "a festive, Halloween mood." -White/Rob Zombie, (of course!) The Doors, Ministry, Alice In Chains, Creedence, Black Sabbath, (of course!) etc, etc. All of it, blasting through large speaker cabinets on the ground floor. Beer was dispensed in the aforementioned creepy basement, with a designated "Beer-Tender" on duty to minimize keg anarchy. (That one approach prevented buttloads of problems we'd experienced during previous Halloween parties at "The Powell House.")

One year, the appropriately unsavory icing on the cake was undoubtedly "Carl, the one-eyed Indian." He was a very large Native American dude who we "hired" to stand guard at the front door to enforce the "No Costume, No Entry" rule. True to his title, Carl literally had only one functioning eye. The other socket contained a dead, white orb that sometimes oozed a clear liquid. Carl needed no costume whatsoever. He was authorized to turn away costume-less dorks *or* hand out a cheap, token "Lone Ranger mask" in the event that a sizeable group wearing costumes showed up, with the one "undressed" person accompanying them. We also provided Carl with an assortment of feathered opera masks for any chicks that showed up sans costume. Carl did an excellent job as a "peace-keeper," along with his primary duty of making sure that *nobody* got in without some sort of disguise. To the best of my knowledge, there were no arguments.

During the last Halloween bash before the rental property was sold, we counted well over two hundred people attending the final Halloween party at "The Powell House." That was similar in size to year 1 when KGON, the local "classic" rock n roll radio station stopped by in their tricked out "KGON Coffin Cruiser." Although the DJ's had other parties to attend, for some reason they didn't make it any further. - Apparently the "designated driver" ran across a chick at our party serving up straight shots including her special "Flaming Dr. Pepper cocktails." By November's early light, that guy was vigorously dry-heaving in the back yard and there were some assorted KGON DJs passed out in uncomfortable positions on the floor in the living room... By then I wasn't at the top of my game either, but I stoked up enough ambition to brew some coffee for myself and the overnight refugees. One of the DJs, clearly the most hung-over and sickest looking of the bunch said to me: "Man, if you ever have another one of these parties... Please don't forget to invite us." Sadly (or not) for him, KGON discontinued their Coffin Cruiser publicity stunt, thereby missing out on the final Halloween bashes at "The Powell House."

Lately I've been reading that many modern Europeans dislike the spread of commercialized, American Halloween traditions. I can't help but think their scorn is a bit ironic given the root customs originated among ancient Celts and various peoples of Northwestern Europe, who later imported them to North America. For those early immigrants arriving in The USA, an introduction to pumpkins must have offered a major leap in pagan/ritual technology, -after centuries of carving Jack O' Lanterns from turnips. Imagine how tedious that must have been!

Happy Samhain to all!